Tuesday, November 1, 2016

My Halloween Recap

     Happy day after Halloween, jerks! I don’t know about you all, but I had a great time last night. I wore my usual Henry Kissinger costume and in lieu of candy, I attempted to engage all costumed children in spirited debates regarding US – China relations. They still don’t get it! Smh. Anyway, I had to run to the store for more seltzer during peak Trick or Treating time, so I left a bowl of candy on my front stoop with a sign reading “Take one!” When I returned, the candy and bowl were nowhere to be found and the sign had been tweaked to read: “Fuck You!” What a turn of events! This year I tried something a little different: I thought it would be nice to create a haunted house to help heighten the kids’ experience. As it turns out, no one is frightened by oversized photos of NPR Marketplace host, Kai Ryssdal. All in all, it was a great Halloween, however. My favorite moment was when two teenagers arrived at my doorstep sans costume, demanding candy. “What’s your costume – apathy?” I remarked – an incredible zinger. “You’re a total dipshit” they shot back, clawing at the candy bowl with their hungry teenage paws. A fair, level-headed exchange that perfectly summed up my favorite night of the year!  

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