I wore the Abe Lincoln costume yesterday,
so that's out. Plus, the beard kept blowing off and the stupid drivers
were laughing at me. Laughing, but once again, not stopping for me, the
Pedestrian. The Dorothy dress and pigtails definitely garnered sidewalk
reactions, but not the cars. The cars still blew through the crosswalk. I
might have to go with the bear. Maybe they will fear for their lives or
maybe, God forbid, a bear might ding their Tesla. Fuckers.
Tactically speaking, I can do
better. The footage isn't what I want it to be, so I am going to place
another camera in the bush on the northeast corner. With two cameras I
can put together reaction shots from both the drivers and my character.
The bear is going to be good. The bear might really get angry and chase
after a car or something. Bears are very erratic.
Okay, the bear costume fits nicely and I
think I should be able to sprint while wearing it. The problem is, it
seems a little "soft". Drivers need to be scared shitless that
this thing is coming for them and their family and isn't going to stop until it
eats their face. The costume isn't enough. I need some props.
The Wilmette butcher is so great.
He's so nice. So helpful. He looked a little scared, so I took the
bear head off when I asked him for a full lamb carcass. "With the
head?" he asked. Duh! But, seriously nice guy. And
helpful.
The cameras are in place and we are
rolling.
Hello to everyone on Youtube! Hello,
new followers! I got a few questions about yesterday's Abe show, and yes
I am fine. Sometimes I go to a very dark place and I am sorry you had to
see that. But, today is a new day!
For all of my new viewers: My plan is to
wait for a car to approach the cross walk at 17th and Lake and to hand a $100
bill to the first car that stops for me. It's been 43 days and not a
single car has stopped. The costumes started around day 17. Last
week, I tried to get a little girl to accompany me, but her mother is a fucking
bitch and wouldn't let her precious little daughter stand a few feet into the
crosswalk with me. Bitch. I hate you. But, whatever, let's
get going.
As you can see, I am a bear. What
you CAN'T see, is that I have a mutilated lamb carcass hidden in that bush over
there. I am going to pretend to be struggling with the lamb in the
bushes. It needs to look like I am really mangling the thing and after
more than just the kill. The bear is psychotic and wants to feast on the
soul of the lamb. Eat it's very being. So, please add a comment at
the bottom of this video and let me know how I did. Your feedback is very
helpful.
So once the car approaches, I am going to
lurch out of the bushes and into the crosswalk holding the gutted animal over
my head. Obviously, in the hopes that a car finally stops. So I can
give one helpful driver his or her $100 bill.
Give me a minute to get into character.
Alright, here we go...
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