Man, don’t even talk to me about ATM fees! I mean, why the heck am I paying money to get my own money! Talk about some bullshit. Look, I know a guy’s gotta make a buck and it’s not like I built the damn ATM machine myself so yeah, I expect it’s gonna cost me something. But just the other day I got soaked with a big ass two-dollar fee! Somebody’s getting rich, and it’s not me, brother! It’s just another example of how big business is on the grift and guess who gets the shaft? You got it – the little guy.
Just listen to this special brand of BS: the other day I visited a WELL KNOWN BIG BOX RETAILER in search of a pair of respectable chinos. When I finally settled on a pair that adequately housed my particulars and flattered the old rump, I asked the pathetic sales associate if I could get that crease “sharpened” a bit prior to purchase. This deplorable young woman nearly laughed while informing me that her store “doesn’t iron clothes.” Well guess what? Her store just lost a customer who pays in cash!
I’m tired of getting the cold shoulder from Big Business Incorporated, LLC. If my tax dollars are going to continue to pay their salaries, I deserve a little respect. Why, just yesterday I stopped in a NATIONALLY FRANCHISED MEXICAN-INSPIRED FAST FOOD ESTABLISHMENT and was told I couldn’t take 9-12 hot sauce packets without first placing an order. What is this – China???? The last time I checked, this is a free country so technically those hot sauce packets already belong to me, assholes.
Pull it together, America!